It's neither green nor blue.
Or maybe it wasn't.
I'm posting an entry here because my lazy self doesn't want to write on my thoughtpad yet. Maybe later.
Things are going downhill already!!!
Hmm. I always told myself I'm going to regret the decisions I'm making soon. The 'soon' has come and it is 'now'. I'd argue that it seemed like a good idea at the time. I mean, I didn't think the repercussions will be this bad.
Ever since I found out about this thing, I have been supportive to the annoying level I think. It was very hard to not tell your closest girl friends what you know when you would pretty much share anything with them. It's like asking someone not to think about a big red elephant swimming in a pond. Or in this case, talk about it.
Anyway, the point, yes. I have been supportive of this endeavor for several months already until, of course, they told me to back off a bit (see one of the previous entries). I didn't mind very much but I did feel a bit bad about it. But I understood and that was why I wanted to hibernate. Which was, of course, unsuccessful.
I don't mean to sound like a very mean person or someone that wants other not to be happy or whatever. But when I don't like something, I'm not one to just stand there and watch it all happen. I mean, there's always a good time for everything. I just didn't appreciate what happened last weekend.
I think I made it clear before that Sugardays are for friends, and would highly appreciate it if keychains are not brought along. Not that we don't want to meet our friends' keychains but we don't want the keychain and the friend to have their own little world within the group.
I also didn't appreciate that my "friends" would take advantage of the "free day". I mean, there's a time for everything. Get your own day, I say. If you really want it, and if you really care about your "friends" then maybe it is best if you do it some other time.
For some reason, it is even harder to believe that my "friend" actually feels bad about it. I think my "friend" mildly felt guilty about its actions, but only mildly.
I feel bad though, for making it appear like I'm asking them to make a choice or that I'm making a choice for them. It wasn't my intention. It was also not my intention to make anyone else feel bad about this situation. I appreciate that some feel genuinely guilty about this and I really wouldn't have said anything if no one asked. Of course, that would only be stalling the current events but maybe some more time would make people learn more. Although I have my doubts.
Anyway, I just can't be friends with someone that doesn't consider other people's "feelings". Not asking for any special treatment, just enough consideration as "friends" is all.
Now I wonder if it was at all right that I supported my "friend"'s actions or if I should've done things differently. Surely if I altered one decision I mad in the past the outcome would be very different. For example, if I told my "friend" about the information I gathered before and ignored any sort of promise I gave to other people. That, or if I told my other "friend" that it was a terrible idea. Although I think my "friend" will do it anyway. Hmm. But I won't be in much trouble as I am now I think. So there's a difference.
I hate to do this but I will be in hiding for a while. Just until things get better. Or if they don't, then well, I will probably just adapt. I don't know how just yet but it will be okay eventually.
Anyway, I would like to apologize if this unfortunate event causes anyone else more trouble. I will be out of your hair in no time, do not fret.